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Feeling Good... Soon

So, the past few months I have not been in the best place, mentally or emotionally.

Back in April, bout a week before my 30th birthday, I was laid off from a job I loved. You can imagine what that did for my self esteem. Especially since I applied to other positions with the company and didn't get hired back on. That was like a punch in the gut. Especially when of the 7 stores I applied to, only 2 of them called me back to even tell me no.

So, when I turned 30, I was unemployed. I was looking for entry level positions to start a new career with a new company. Places I thought I'd be perfect for, that were similar to my previous job and company, told me that I did not have the experience they were looking for or just never called back after the interview to tell me one way or another.

My self esteem was shit. I felt like a failure and completely worthless.

But of course I had to keep on a brave face for family and friends who tried to cheer me up.

Currently, I am training at a new job. My self esteem has not quite caught up yet. In fact, it's still rather down in the dumps.

When you're down in the dumps, it can be hard to claw your way back out. That's one of the reasons I am so adamant about this blog and eating healthy. Writing has always been a catharsis for me, even when I am writing about things that are not my number one concern. Eating right can increase your mood and make you feel better about yourself. I will admit, it has helped considerably.

One of the other steps I plan on taking soon are my clothes. Since I have recently experienced a weight gain, most of my clothes do not fit. As such, I have taken to not dressing well. I wear sweats or sweat shorts in the house with either a baggy t-shirt or a tank top. I have avoided going out in public because of how I feel in the clothes I am able to squeeze into.

This has not done well for my self esteem, as you can imagine.

My first step is going to be to go through my clothes and throw out clothes I never even wore when they fit. I will toss the worn and torn, donate the never wore, and even though I am trying to lose weight, get myself some clothes that fit and won't make me feel like drowning in a bin of ice cream.

I will keep you apprised as I go through this.

Getting your self esteem back on track can be rather trying, but the important thing is that you continue to do what you need. I encourage anyone else having a hard time right now to concentrate on what makes you feel good about yourself and take steps to correct that which makes you feel like you're a piece of shit.


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